of my favorite things (now Big D is singing that song and I seriously regret making it the title. That song, not one of my favorite things.) I know I said I'd do this next week, but here it is because yesterday's entry made me feel a little like I promised lobster for dinner and gave you Cheerios. Truth is this hell is a little bit of a collaboration with some of my friends (who are some of my favorite things). It's from a list we made and then things gleaned from everyday conversations. So thanks to all of you, because you've helped.
Let me just get this smarmy stuff out of the way up front, obviously my family and friends and health and job (Big D is reading this over my shoulder) are some of my favorite things. I'm not taking that for granted, I'm just thinking I'll save that for an annoying Facebook status on Christmas Day.
Thing 1: The time of night when you're low on sleep and high on coffee and every single thing is funny. You know, "slap happy" or "punch drunk". This mostly happens around people you really trust and love. Or at 3 a.m. listening to my brother's nicknames for people like "Hill-Billy Highlife" while wrapping presents.
2: Party. Bus. Cannot say how much love I have for the party bus. If you get a good mix of people on it, it's fun on an entirely new level. If you get the right bus (air conditioning, potty and a driver who wears a cap) you feel like a freaking rock star. Throw in some mini sandwiches and you'll want to just stay on the bus. But there must be aisle dancing and lap dances and someone has to fall asleep by the end of the ride or you just don't deserve a party bus.
3. Britney Spears still being alive. I think my friends Kate and Sarah have willed that woman to live and be less wacko. You have to admit she makes you shake your ass a little, and she rarely puts any "music" out that is maudlin. It's all hair whipping, arms in the air kind of stuff.
Thing 4: Along those lines, "Glee" and "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" and "Family Guy". No matter what's happening in your world, Glee will give you that momentary feeling of well glee with an undercurrent of "thank GOD I'm not in high school anymore" mixed with a tiny bit of dirty. Sunny is just plain out there dirty, nothing subtle which is exactly what this girl needs sometimes. And Family Guy disguises itself as a cartoon but is really smarter than anything on Fox News or MSNBC. Watch them and see if you don't giggle a little.
5: Something to look forward to. I look forward to coming up with an idea and writing something here. So, little things like that work. But not as well as big old things like vacations or babies (Colleen and Laken and Amanda!) or when winter boots go on sale. Sorry, I love all you hellions, but I really love a warm sunny beach and 50% off boots.
6: Sephora. Son of a broke ass girl. That place is heaven and hell all in one bright, shiny black and white with a splash of red package. If you're a make-up and products kind of person I'm torn between telling you to run not walk to Sephora and telling you it's the devil. Because you'll walk out with a tiny little bag and a maxed out credit card in about 10 minutes. The good thing about Sephora's physical store is you can test everything, so no more picking a lipstick only to get it home and realize it makes you look like your Great Aunt. If they sold shoes and hand bags, it would be my happiest place on Earth.
7: A memory that you don't have to add to or take away from to make better because it's perfect on it's own. You know, that moment where you're standing there in the middle of something and you know you'll always remember it just this way. Landon saying my name clearly. Filthy dirty martinis with Mandy. Singing your ass off on a party bus with some of your best friends and a guy named Chad. Sitting on a couch at night with the doors open so you can hear the ocean at your vacation beach house. The first time someone says they love you and you know they do.
8: Finding the best Christmas cards to send to your friends and having friends who love how irreverent said cards are.
9: Missing someone you know you'll see again. I'm talking real life living people you just don't get to see everyday. Don't get all "hereafter" on me now. It is one of my favorite things. They don't say absence makes the heart grow fonder for nothing. If you know you'll actually get to put your hand on the back of their necks when you hug them the next time or make fun of their taste in music while you're riding in a car, missing someone makes you appreciate every minute you get with them.
10: OK, now I'm getting all nostalgic and smushy writing this. So I'll go ahead and get this out of the way... my cousins who make me feel like I always belong somewhere... Maddy, Delaney, Gavin, Sydnee and Landon who cannot possibly know the size of my heart because of them... The SBJ girls and the TCs and the Julies and Big D and Lid who have likely saved me. Stacie, Randy and Shannon without whom I'd have no anchor. Aunties Pam and Ruby who make me behave and be a lady, because someone needs to do that. My Mother for putting up with my hell for 40 years and even the 40 weeks before I got here. Ugh, this whole paragraph is icky.
11. Living in a country that values women (at least 75% as much as they do men), where you can tell a telemarketer to stop calling and they will, where there's mostly peace unless you're watching the pundits on cable "news", where I can turn the channel if I don't like what I'm watching, where I can wish you Happy Holidays or Christmas or Kwanzaa or Hanukkah or nothing at all with only a little bitching about how I'm saying the wrong thing.
Last thing: You. Because I know you have other things, better things, to do with your time than read some chick overuse the word hell and prattle on and on about her life. You, because your comments and emails and words for or against what I write make me want to write more just to see what you are thinking. Thank you for visiting my hell, because you, yes YOU keep it fresh.
Merry and Happy whatever you celebrate this year... I hope it's covered in sparkly.
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