Resolutions...

... another ring of hell.


I hope your holiday (whichever you celebrate - I'm not judging) was merry and bright. I hope you didn't have to return anything, that nothing was too small, and that you didn't throw away any instructions that you really, really needed.


I spent the night at my brother's family's house December 23. Santa comes a bit early there, because my two oldest nieces are only with us December 23 through Christmas Eve afternoon. Those kids woke us up about 3:40 a.m.!! Maddy, the oldest, doesn't usually get out of bed on a non-school day until noonish, and she was the first one up. So much fun and so exciting. Santa must have missed some of the naughty things we grown-ups saw, because he was very generous!

I always think it a bit cruel to throw New Years in right after Thanksgiving and Christmas. It just seems like all the excitement takes place at once. Kids get over-stimulated and over-tired. Grown-ups just plain over-indulge in everything. So, here comes New Years. A new start. New resolutions = new chances = new potential failures!

I usually do the typical: lose weight, exercise more, less procrastination, spend more time with people I love, spend less money, etc. You get the idea. I'd bet some of this is on your list.

I've decided to revise my list of resolutions... maintaining some of the old, but adding some new:

- Lose weight, but as long as my pants can be zipped, even if it means lying across my bed to zip them, I'm going to be happy.
- Maintain my same shoe size. (I've been doing that for YEARS and no one makes a fuss about THAT!)
- Not buying any more horribly uncomfortable bras and undies, no matter HOW cute they are. Sometimes cute just isn't worth things digging in.
- Spend less time with people or things that annoy me. 'Things' include mops, vacuums, dusters. 'People', well you know who you are.
- To try to be more patient with other drivers. Even if they are stupid and horrible and dingbats who pull out in front of me, don't use TURN SIGNALS, DON'T WAIT THEIR TURN AT 4-WAY STOPS!!!! Well, I have a few days to work on that before the new year begins.
- To stop thinking I'm wasting the day if I sleep past 9. I blame my grandmother for this. She used to call around 7 a.m. on the weekend and tell me I was wasting the day if I wasn't up. Even though she can't see me, I'm shaking my fist at her a bit right now.
- To stick up for myself a little more. Reading my blog, you might think I'm a bigmouth who says what she wants when she wants. You would be wrong. I tend to keep my mouth shut and let it fester. I think writing this blog has given this lioness some courage.
- To not hate on folks who don't like "It's a Wonderful Life" or F. Scott Fitzgerald. Some people just can't help their lack of taste in good movies and good books!

That's it for now. Even if I only accomplish one of the above, I think I'll celebrate. Maybe by buying some size 7 shoes (same size I've been since I was 16 thankyouverymuch), watching a GREAT movie while reading some great books, followed by a quick trip around the neighborhood to scream at some bad drivers.

Good luck to you with your resolutions. Maybe you could all just resolve to visit me here at hell as often as you can. That's a thought... a New Year's Resolution list that says simply "GO TO HELL"!

Peace on Earth...

... with no mention of hell.


When I was a kid, I'd ask my dad what he wanted for Christmas. He would, invariably, say Peace on Earth or something green. He always said green was his favorite color. My dad fought in Vietnam, so he knew the cost of war and the value of peace. He knew; we can only imagine. He spent a Christmas "over there". He knew.


I was thinking about what true "Peace on Earth" would mean. All peace, all the time. No war in the Middle East or Africa, no drug lords in South America, no gangs in the U.S. It would mean no fighting between religions, races, genders, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, parents and children, parents of children of divorce, in-laws, political parties, and neighbors... No fighting, no harsh words, no hurt feelings. Imagine.


What if, just for now, we all make a little in our own lives? What if we forgive someone or have a kind word for someone toward whom we feel less than kind? Maybe it's the season, or the snow, or that I'm hopelessly naive, but doesn't peace have to start somewhere? Why not right here? Even if a little forgiveness in our lives can't solve the world's problems, wouldn't it make it better for at least the folks around us?


That's my thinking today anyway. Maybe we can, by making a little peace and spreading a little good will toward men (and women!), give my dad his Christmas wish. And isn't it really all our wish? Joy, love, health and peace. Besides, where my dad is, he really has no use for something green.


Love you Dad, miss you, and am squeezing you a little bit in my heart.

Drivers from...

... hell!

'Tis the season for some crazy driving. What the heck happens this time of year that makes people's common sense fly out the window. I think it's all the hustle and bustle. Everyone has somewhere to be and no one wants to miss a minute of holiday cheer shared with friends and family.

I really don't care WHY it happens; I just care that it STOPS! I have verbal road rage. That's the type where you sit in your car and complain loudly, even when alone, about others' driving. A therapist told me years ago that I only feel comfortable expressing anger while driving. If you know me, you know I have to be poked VERY hard with a stick to lose it. All it takes in a car is someone skipping MY turn at a 4-way stop.

I have put together a list of Lisa's Holiday Driving Safety Tips. It is as follows:

Turning Signals - figure out how to turn them on in your car and start using them. You can do it...down is left, up is right. See how simple that is?

If you are at a 4-way stop and you have the balls to go out of turn, do not look at me indignantly when I'm moving into the intersection because it's my turn! The least you can do is give a little wave acknowledging you are an ass.

Tailgating is for morons, especially this time of year. Rudolph has a death wish and will run into the road directly in the path of bright lights and loud engine noises. It's just logic that if you are following too closely and I hit Rudolph or have to use my brakes to avoid Rudolph, you may end up sitting in my backseat. I get you are in a hurry; I probably am too. I just realize that you trying to push me down the road can end unhappily for us both. Then you'll be really late to eat your rum balls.

Loading up your 'sleigh' and heading to Grandma's house is a lovely tradition. All those beautiful packages...piled high...in your backseat...blocking your vision. Just don't do it.

Defroster--not just for frost. Clears up that condensation stuff, too. It's amazing how much better you can see the Christmas lights out of your entire windshield, instead of a clear spot roughly the size of my fist.

That's all for now. Drive safely. You never know when a crazy woman in a white SUV is watching and, from the safety of her car, giving you hell.

Monday, Monday...

... deserves a little fresh hell.

Just some random thoughts today.

Saw a great bumper sticker the other day. It said, "You ARE entitled to your own opinion, but NOT your own facts." Good stuff, huh?

It is very (and I mean VERY) tempting to use this blog as a way of addressing issues with individuals I feel choose to spill their vitriol on my loved ones or me. Very tempting. I'm not going to do it, because once you put things out there, they stay out there. The universe always gives what it gets. And just because you delete something you've written, doesn't mean it's gone. Aaahh, the printer...it doesn't lie, it can save the day, provide proof and potentially get your ass in deep hell. So, I refrain and choose the high road. But I'm dragging my feet all the way.

I love senior citizens. It's all I can do to not hug strange older folks, because I think they are so darn cute. However, what's the deal with the elderly being rude little shoppers? I have found this consistently worsens during the holidays. I know my Grandma Sweetpea thought that when she became a "senior citizen" she should be cut a wide berth due to her age. I get that. They've lived longer, been though all kinds of things and deserve respect. Here's what they DON'T deserve... they don't deserve to place their things on a counter and return to shopping for over 10 minutes then come back to the counter expecting to check out immediately saying, "Tis the season to cut in line I guess" to me when the cashier is checking me out. So there.

Just one time I would love for everyone in Walmart to burst out singing whatever holiday song is playing. I think it would make that place a lot more tolerable.

Someone needs to create a sure-fire way to get rid of static electricity. I am a hat wearer this time of year, and it's not-so-funny when you walk around the mall with your hair standing on end. More importantly, my 4 year old niece gets VERY offended when I kiss her and she gets a shock.

I took some time away from Facebook this weekend (it's amazing how much time FB can kill, isn't it?) and did a kid-made craft with my nieces and nephew. Since Gavin was little, we've made gifts for their Grandparents, Aunts and Parents. Most of the gifts we make incorporate their hand print and their own signature. I don't know about you, but I love it when kids make gifts with their own little hands. You can look back over the years and see how they have grown or how their handwriting has changed. I realize it may seem silly or cheap to people who think the amount of love is equal to the amount of money spent, but the biggest gift to me is the time spent with the kids. Add to that the pride they show when they give something they made to the adults they love. Even the older kids are excited. In fact, they were the ones who insisted on giving their parents the gift the day we made them. I'll post pictures after Christmas. We don't want to spoil the surprise.

Love the movie "It's A Wonderful Life". I can recite most of it to you. When I was a kid, we used to watch it Christmas Eve on PBS-WSIU channel 16 (you Jasper Co. folks know what I'm talking about). Yes, there's lots of over-acting and it's black and white. It's warm and soft and has a lovely message. "Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."

Until next time, keep the hell fresh and watch out for the elderly!

No hell...

... just Merry and Bright and Holly Jolly...

Happy Holidays from Lisa and the kids!

And by "holiday" I mean all of them...including Xmas!

If the Xmas thing is 'offensive' or you just want some info about its possible origins follow the link: http://www.cresourcei.org/symbols/xmasorigin.html

O.K., so a tiny bit of hell.

When did...

being gay become the quickest way to hell? Seriously. I've noticed a lot of 'Christians' beating this drum lately. One reason is likely the debate over same-sex marriage. But it seems to me that a lot of 'Christians' are pointing their fingers at homosexuals in order to be able to over-look their own spiritual short comings. Just a thought.


See, what I did in the above paragraph? I judged some Christians. Paraphrasing Matthew 7:1-5, the Bible says not to judge or you'll be judged. What judgement you put on others will come back to you. It also says to get the chunk of wood out of your eye before pointing out the speck in another's. Now, am I going to hell for judging? It's a sin; God clearly says we shouldn't be doing it.


So, if I'm going to hell for judging and people believe homosexuals are sinning, then we're both going to the same place for doing the same thing...sinning. Right? If you ask most Christians (I've even asked ministers), a sin is a sin is a sin. The Bible doesn't define degrees of sin. (When pressed by asking if rape is equal to lying, you'd be surprised at how many start stuttering, because, according to the Bible I've read, it is the same. Yikes, huh?) If you sin, you go to hell. Period. Doesn't matter which commandment you break, you're done. Unless of course you repent. But if you break a rule, apologize, but know full well you'll do it again, are you truly sorry? I don't think so. If you get drunk Saturday night, say your sorry Sunday, but knowing you're going to do it again that afternoon watching the Bears game, were you really sorry? Far be it from me to judge, but even my 7 year old nephew knows you aren't.


There are scriptures to back up the 'homosexuality is sin' brigade, 1 Timothy 1:9-10 for example has been interpreted "for them that defile themselves with mankind" to mean being homosexuals. However, the rest of that verse talks about liars, adulterers, and murderers. Have you ever lied? Most Christians that are pounding the drum against homosexuality aren't out there marching against lying.


There's a passage of scripture in the Old Testament about how to handle situations where a woman is potentially not a virgin when she gets married. Scared? You should be. It's pretty rough on the girls. It's pretty rough on rape victims, too. It's Deuteronomy 22. Read it for yourself. If the guy you marry decides after your wedding night that you maybe weren't as 'pure' as you'd been billed to be, your parents have to take the bloody sheets to the town elders and prove it. If your parents can't, the elders take you to your dad's front door and you are stoned. If the parents can prove you were a virgin with the bloody sheets, your husband has to pay your dad for smearing your dad's good name and he can never divorce you. Lucky, huh?


If a virgin is raped inside the city and no one hears her cry out, it's assumed she didn't. She and the man who raped her are stoned. If an engaged woman is raped in a field, it's assumed she did cry out and no one heard, so the man is stoned. If a non-engaged virgin has sex with a man, the man has to marry her and can never divorce her. Oh, and he has to pay the woman's father for again hurting the father's good name.


Want to live by those standards? If so, I'm dead. The same passage talks about not wearing wool with linen. The point is, we all ignore all the stuff we don't like in the Bible, the stuff that makes us sinners or makes our lives inconvenient. But there are those who march in protest about who someone weds?! If it isn't a child, why do we care? Where's all the news coverage of taking the Lord's name in vain? Or not honoring your mother and father? Or wishing you had what your neighbor has? Those are offenses punishable by hell, too. If we were measured by those standards, Tiger and his 10 alleged ladies would be stoned.


Here's my solution to same-sex 'marriage'. Level the paying field. Make 'marriage' a word that applies to a spiritual or personal ceremony. Churches already reserve the right to not marry anyone they want. For example, if you've been divorced, if you have a child before you're married, if you're a non-believer, etc. the Church can decide not to perform your wedding. Have the government recognize 'unions'; be it between a man and a woman, a woman and a woman, or a man and a man. Have 'marriage' be your own personal ceremony or celebration. Most people confuse 'marriage' with 'wedding' anyway. Marriage, according to the government, is about getting a piece of paper signed. Weddings are what you personally do to make yourself feel married. So, each Church or officiant gets to decide for whom they perform a 'wedding'. You aren't united in the eyes of the law until you fill out the official paperwork and pay a fee, as it is. The 'Church' recognizing it has nothing to do with the government recognizing it. You can go on the internet and become 'ordained' to perform a ceremony. As long as it's between two consenting adults, and you get to be with the person you want, who are we to judge?


Let me just give you the example of a couple that made me think about who's truly united to whom. A couple was together, but not married, since college. They met, fell in love, moved in together. They took care of each other, split the bills, loved each other, bought a house together, lived the normal couple life. Until one of them got sick. There was a ruptured aneurysm, brain damage, job loss, loss of insurance. Since they weren't married, the ill member of the couple couldn't get on the other's insurance. Since there was severe damage to mental facilities, the ill member couldn't consent to a marriage even if they wanted to.


The well member of the couple continued to care for the sick one. Over a decade went by, and the well member couldn't sell the house, because the sick member's family wouldn't agree to it. The house was lost. The well member bathed, fed, dressed, diaper changed and financially supported the sick member. That's love. After a decade, the family of the sick member decided perhaps they could better care for their family member by putting them in a nursing home. The sick member would be moved to a long-term care facility in another city. The well member couldn't do anything about it. One day, the well member was no longer allowed to see the partner they had loved and nursed most of their adult life.


The above true story could happen to any couple who is not in a government recognized union. Gay or straight. Do you get that?! What if the above couple is straight? How outraged would you be? What if they are gay? Why would that change how you feel?


Just because you might be wondering, I'm straight. Love me some men. I don't want the government telling me which of those men I can love, why would I feel any different about them telling someone else whom they can or can't love?


There are lots of reasons I could end up in hell. That's between me and my God. Who I love is also between me and my God. Everyone else can stay out of it or end up in hell.. for judging.

Why I Love...

... my sister-in-law has very little to do with hell. I got lucky in the sis-in-law department. Seriously lucky. Let's just say, I know how it can be, so I know when to count my blessings. Shannon isn't perfect. She doesn't pretend to be. Thank goodness she isn't perfect; I'd have to hate her.


Here's why I love her. There's the normal stuff: She's good to my brother. She's a ridiculously good mother. She's always nurturing and loving. She loves Maddy and Delaney in a way that makes them feel calm and safe. You can't ask for more than that.


Aside from all that, for me personally, she's just such a good friend. I knew her from a local bank where she used to work before she met my brother. I liked her then, too. She was so friendly and helpful and warm. I remember when Randy said he was hanging out with her, I was excited for him. I knew it could end up being just the right thing for both of them.

She took on a lot. My family is ... a lot. We were guarded and scared for Randy. He'd been through a not-great divorce and still had some wounds. Things moved fast with Randy and Shannon. That's one of the reasons I love her. She's brave. She decides something and then works it out. She's independent and assertive. Barely out of high school, she moved on her own to Delaware and Phoenix. Thankfully for us, she's a Illinois girl at heart.

Shannon's family is also warm and accepting. Get this, I spend a lot of my holidays with them. They never fail to invite me, and I never feel like an outsider. That's a testament to the kind of home she was raised in. Everyone is welcome, until and unless you do something to hurt a family member. Then, Shannon and her sister, Jaime, would be formidable foes. Shannon's family consists of her parents, Jim and Jeanne; her brothers, Dustin (holy hotness!) and Jake (sweetest boy) and her sister, Jaime (balls of steel! wife to Roy, mother of Lucy and baby-to-be and step-mom to Logan). I've spent Christmas in Phoenix with her family, gone on a family vacation to San Francisco, and spent untold summer Sundays at cook-outs with them. They have always made me feel as if I belonged.

This year, Shannon and I braved the Black Friday sales. We started late Thursday night, after a day of over-eating, over-sitting and over-sugared kids. We decided to leave at 10:30 p.m. and head for Tuscola. Keep in mind, Shannon is 5 months pregnant. She's also only 30 and a runner, so I guess that helps.

We got to Tuscola, headed for Old Navy and stood in line. Even that is fun if you are with the right people. Shannon new the couple ahead of us in line, and chatted with the pregnant lady behind us. All was merry and bright, until the woman touched Shannon's back. Pregnant people seem to be fair game for strangers to touch. I find this odd. Some woman wanted around Shannon and put her hand on Shannon's back. If we wouldn't have lost our choice spot in line, I think Shannon would have hunted that woman down and told the woman not to touch her back. That simple; nothing more. It's been over a week since it happened and we are still talking about it.

We headed to Champaign around 3:15, were nearly poisoned at Steak-N-Shake by a waiter with b.o., then headed to Toys R Us. That's when the motion-sensor-in-the-mouth babies attacked us. They were EVERYWHERE. When you walked by, they started flailing their arms and making cooing noises. One was turned over on it's tummy and resembled a bug on it's back. CREEPY. There was an entire bin of these freaky dolls and they were right next to an item I was trying to wrestle onto the bottom of the cart. These babies would not stop. There were at least 50 in the bin...all had sensed my motion and began the strange babbling and arm waving. I just sat on the floor laughing my ass off. Another reason I love Shannon, she laughed with me. My sleep-deprived fit didn't embarrass her; she joined in.

Here's the deal, I can never repay Shannon for the love and joy she brought my brother and his oldest daughters. I can never thank her enough for Gavin and Sydnee and new baby Huber (most likely named Landon David). I can never give to her what she's given me... the way she opened her heart to my family and the way her family has welcomed me. There are no gifts I can give her this holiday season that would express how blessed I feel that Randy has her and she has Randy, and how lucky I am to have her for a sister.

A word of warning, though, if she ever asks you to go to the grocery store at 10:30 at night to pick up a couple things, don't trust her. You'll end up at Walmart until 3:30 in the morning searching for a red tank top. She will help you look (in vain) for a sparkly baby Jesus. However, I promise if you do go, you'll be asking yourself "What fresh hell is THIS?", but only in the best possible way.

Palate Cleansing...

...fresh hell. After the last hell, I thought we needed something else.


I read something recently which described what the author would miss, if they were suddenly abducted by aliens or dropped off the face of the planet. I found it interesting. This author said everyone knows the obvious stuff we'd all miss. Family, friends, watching kids grow, spending time with loved ones. He wanted to know after the obvious, most important stuff, what secondary things would you miss.


So, since it's the holidays and I have a bit of PMS and am feeling melancholy, here's my list:


Twirling my hair. I have a really good spot that's just right for twirling.

A hot shower

Reading

The first warm spring rain

The first day you know winter is gone

Arriving at a vacation destination

Sleeping in my own bed

Thinking

Debating

The smell of books, the weight of a book in my hands.

A book so good you want to devour it.

F. Scott Fitzgerald's ability to turn a phrase making me want to throw the book down, because I'm not even worthy of reading it.

Good coffee

Splenda

When all is calm and all is bright at Christmas.

Watching a familiar movie I love.

My brother's Xmas light display

Finding unexpected money in a coat pocket

Laughing

You

Salt

A good kiss

Holding hands

Sex

Cooking for people you love

The smell of the earth being turned over in the spring

Corn-on-the-cob

Music that makes you cry because it is so beautiful

Shoes that don't pinch but look great

Writing this blog

The smell of Safeguard



Those are just a few. I'd miss my family beyond words. I'd miss my friends. What would you miss? Obvious and not obvious?


Here's hoping none of us get abducted by aliens. Because missing all this would be hell.

A "Not Suitable For Children"...

... fresh hell. Seriously. If you're a kid reading this, stop. Ask your parents to read it first to decide if it's o.k. for you. This even means you, Kendall.

I've not written much about my singlehood here. Mostly because I've assumed the majority of my readers are married or have kids and have better things to do than read my tales of dating woes. Then I decided it's my blog and I'll do what I want. Plus, maybe you married/committed chicks can help a sister out with this stuff.

First, as a little background information, I'm not married, never have been. When I was young I talked about it and imagined it and pictured my wedding. But, in all honesty, I could never really wrap my mind around it. I just always thought I'd be horrible at it. My parents weren't terribly good role models. I found out in third grade that they had been divorced from each other and remarried to each other when my brother was an infant. I just always thought living with someone and trusting someone was too daunting a task.

That aside, I've dated...seriously and not-so-seriously. In defense of the men, I've been told that I lack a sensitivity to men's egos. I don't get jealous; if he wants someone else, I'm out. I'm not a 'fight for my man' kind of girl. If he doesn't want me, enough said.

Here's my thing, what the HELL are men thinking when they are trying to 'hit on' women?! I wonder sometimes if these lines have worked in the past, and if so, what kind of woman are we talking about biting?

Here are a few of my personal experiences:

Walking out of a grocery store a guy and a man who appeared to be this guy's DAD hooted and asked: "Have you ever been f****d bent over the back of a truck?!"

In a restaurant bar: "Let's just skip the drinks, head to your place, do it, and then I can leave. I'd rather go to your place, because your sheets are probably clean."

Then after actually finding someone to go on a date with, I get:

"You are so cool for paying half the tab and leaving the tip. I never tip. And I know I had a couple of drinks and my bill was more than yours and that I picked the restaurant, but I did drive, so I had to pay for gas." This clown even tried to kiss me good-night.

Once, for my birthday, my brother, Randy, his wife, Shannon, and her sister, Jaime, and I went to dinner at the Firefly in Effingham. Now, the FF can be a bit pricey, especially if you drink. Shannon and Jaime had been trying to set me up with a guy friend of theirs, and I had just met him a week before at a Halloween party. Jaime asked the guy if he wanted to come along to dinner and he said yes. He was informed which restaurant we would be dining at before he said yes. When the waitress asked how the bill was going to be split (after we ordered), I said I had mine, Randy and Shannon both said NO, they would get it for my birthday. Then macho man with girl-hands said NO, it was on him. I thanked him, asked if he was sure, as I'd already had two martinis. He assured me it was fine, "Happy Birthday" he said.

A few days later he was telling people how 'high maintenance' I was. I picked the most expensive restaurant in town, drank ridiculous drinks and then expected him to pay. Hey JACKASS, I pay my own way. Needless to say, girl-hands and I were DONE. He did text me a few days later asking if I wanted a cat. I thought about telling him, "HELL NO! You need to keep that kitty, it's probably the only one you're ever going to get."

We've probably all been through the, "It's not you, it's me." "I just can't commit right now and you deserve better than that." One of the best things I heard years ago was from Kate. She told a guy she had been dating, who said he wanted to be 'just friends' that she had enough friends and didn't really need his friendship. For me, that idea stuck. Her logic was sound, if you continued to be friends after the break-up with a guy you dated, you'd always hold out hope things might work out. Also, men see the 'just friends' as a way of keeping the potential nookie option available. They also don't want to seem like complete jerks and think 'being friends' will let us down easy. All it does is confuse us.

Here's a final example of ludicrous male behavior:
I had started speaking with a guy I had dated on-and-off several years ago. At first he wanted us to be friends and get to know each other again and 'see what happened'. He'd always had feelings for me, blah, blah, blah. So, ok, we'll give it a shot. His idea of becoming friends was to send me messages saying, "I'm horny." He never asked anything about my life, answered my questions about his life with brief one word answers, so he could get to the, "I'm horny" portion of the conversation.

The final ignorant man statement that was his undoing was this: "I think I'm just looking for a girl who will be friends but understand that my schedule may keep me from spending much time together as friends. That she will be sexually submissive and allow me to dominate the relationship at all times. I need her to let me stop by on my way through town to f**k and understand that because I'm busy, I'll have to leave. But she'd know that at some point in the future we could fit in some friend time, but that the majority of time spent will be on sex. I don't think that's unreasonable. And if you aren't up for it, Lisa, you don't like sex as much as I do and you aren't the mature girl I thought you were."

Seriously. That's what he wrote me. Now, boy, that's so tempting. I asked for clarification and made sure that what he expected was for me to be waiting for his call, so when he had a few minutes to stop by for SEX, he'd let me know. That I shouldn't expect or ask for anything more because of his schedule. And if I didn't agree, I was frigid and immature. He said, "Yes, you get it, cool." I asked for clarification because I thought perhaps he would have a moment of clarity and realize how insulting and degrading what he was suggesting was, especially given our extensive history. Uhhhh, nope, he was just excited that I truly understood him.

That's the end of that little story. He can call it immaturity; I call it self-respect.

To you married chicks, if you have a good one, hug that husband/wife and count your blessings. To you single girls, solidarity sisters. Being single isn't something to be pitied. If nothing else, single girls always have great stories. We also can come and go as we please, spend our money on another pair of black boots and eat only dill pickles for dinner.

Married or single ladies, don't put up with cads. You deserve better. If I'd have married any of the super rats above, it would have been hell.